(Part 2)
The third form of love is what the Greek philosophers called Eros (amor in Latin) or romantic love. This is more than sexual desire. It is a deep emotional and romantic attachment to one specific person. In the way God created human beings, this romantic love exists naturally between a man and a woman. The culmination of romantic love is the highest form of human love between two persons of the opposite sex and leads to a marital union which forms the foundation of the family, the basic unit of society. The Philippine Constitution is clear about the family being the basic unit of society and that marriage or the marital union is inviolable.
Eros or romantic love focuses on the entire person. The attraction that is purely sensual and makes sex and sexual pleasure the only end is not love. It is lust and corresponds to what St. James the Apostle called the “concupiscence of the flesh.” Authentic romantic love inspires sacrifice, devotion, and courage. It deepens commitment beyond pleasure and can sanctify sexuality through fidelity. Romantic love draws people out of self-centeredness.
Catholics believe that the marital union blessed by the Sacrament Matrimony is a vocation or a calling from God and is a pathway to heaven for the married couples. The Philippines stands out as the only country in the world where there is no divorce law. Most Western countries (e.g., the US and Europe, including Spain that brought Christianity to the Philippines) have divorce rates of around 30% to 50% of marriages. Traditionally Filipino society emphasizes marriage as sacred and lifelong, often anchored in religion family and community norms. This cultural norm discourages separation or dissolution and contributes to longer-lasting unions on average.
Catholic morality also obliges the couple to be open to having children whom they have the obligation to also lead to heaven through the appropriate upbringing and education. A very important part of that upbringing or child education is the inculcation of virtues related to civic mindedness or love of the common good. Needless to say, this openness to children gives the Philippines the advantage of a young and growing population in a world in which, as Elon Musk, repeatedly warns, the greatest challenge to the global economy is not climate change but depopulation and rapid ageing.
The fourth form of love is Agape in Greek (or caritas in Latin). It is to love as God loves us: completely unselfish, selfless, without expecting anything in return. In all the other forms of love, there is always the expectation of a good or pleasure from the one loved. The very act of affection gives the lover an emotional lift, as in the case of loving one’s child (or even a pet). The same can be said about the love of friendship: there is mutual pleasure in the relationship. It is most obvious in romantic love that there is mutual pleasure seeking between lovers (which is obvious in the conjugal act). Agape, in contrast, is an act of a human being to seek the good of another without expecting something in return. Agape consists of self-giving and unconditional love. Through agape, a person loves even the unlovable. It seeks the true good of the other. It is the basis for loving the common good, which is defined as a social or juridical order that enables every person in society to attain his or her fullest integral human development. This form of love never contradicts truth or justice. Only this fourth type of love, agape, can rightly govern the other forms of love.
All four loves are meant to be ordered, not suppressed or abolished. The problem is not loving too much, but loving the wrong thing (like money) too much. Agape can rightly govern the other three loves, preventing affection from smothering, friendship from excluding, and eros from enslaving.
In the Philippines, storge or affection is strongly manifested in family life. There are strong family bonds, respect for the elders, natural generosity among relatives, and a deep sense of belonging and obligation, especially among the lower-income groups. This is especially manifested by the OFW phenomenon. More than 10 million Filipino overseas workers endure manifold physical, emotional, economic, and spiritual sacrifices in order to earn a comfortable living for their relatives at home.
Many social weaknesses (such as widespread corruption) arise not from lack of love, but from disordered love. For example, affection (storge) without justice leads to nepotism. Philia without agape fosters political dynasties. Eros without law leads to moral laxity, and sentiment without truth spells ineffective charity.
To a Catholic who puts his faith into practice, agape obliges him to love his neighbor as he loves himself. This love is channeled through the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, such as feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, visiting the sick, visiting the imprisoned, and burying the dead — which are the corporal works. Among the spiritual works are instructing the ignorant, counseling the doubtful, admonishing sinners, comforting the afflicted, forgiving offenses willingly, and praying for the living and the dead. Filipino Catholics are not generally remiss in practicing these works of mercy.
Unfortunately, we fail miserably working for the common good.
This general failure of the Filipino people to work for the common good, despite the fact that we are well known as a “loving people” all over the world, is perfectly captured by some of the words of the Oratio Imperata for Integrity, Truth and Justice that our Catholic Bishops requested to be prayed at every Catholic Mass celebrated during a relatively long period of time:
“We confess that we ourselves have often walked in darkness. In our silence, in our compromises, and in our indifference, we have allowed corruption to grow and falsehood to spread. Forgive us, Lord, and cleanse our hearts of this grave moral evil that robs the poor of bread and the nation of hope. Give us leaders after the heart of your Son: shepherds who serve, not wolves who devour.
“By the power of your Holy Spirit, give us the courage to reject lies, expose deceit, uphold justice and defend the truth, in all our dealings — whether public or private — that integrity may flourish in our land like a river and righteousness like a mighty stream.”
I am a strong believer in the power of prayer. I am sure that our collective prayers can lead to the conversion of the existing corrupt officials in the various agencies of government as well as their partners in crime in the private sector. I am also confident that the necessary institutional and legislative reforms will be implemented to make it more difficult for the incorrigibly corrupt individuals to perpetrate their crimes.
More importantly, we must implement a long-term character-building program so that future generations of Filipinos will emulate the love for the common good, the patriotism, of such exceptional people as the Japanese and the Singaporeans.
(To be continued.)
Bernardo M. Villegas has a Ph.D. in Economics from Harvard, is professor emeritus at the University of Asia and the Pacific, and a visiting professor at the IESE Business School in Barcelona, Spain. He was a member of the 1986 Constitutional Commission.